heat to the banana seat

today I was eager;

anxious to find a cure, I
made nice with you
and your apathetic,
single-toned lull.

I forced myself between
the crinkles careening your mouth,
squat down, sat it out,
introduced myself to the women
huffing your scent, dampening
my awkward dress.

I poked you in the cheek
with my keys, no good now. I
wrote notes on your chin
with my finger only to have you
scratch the nouns away, replacing
them with dots, beads of bleach
exuviated from the skin on skin,
foreign to me.

I sang home-remedy melodies,
challenged a meteor man with
a single finger, and listened to a
raven’s theories on shame, self-
respect, the lust to be adored

just before she kissed your mouth
and swallowed him in one, hedonistic
predatory swig. you too.

I crawled to your cleft and allowed
my legs to dangle there, swaying with
infuriation, heat to the banana seat –

the retroactive interference
of your bigamous sneer was
red tooth and nailed,
so despicably low.

and as she rode away on training
wheels, you smiled sincerity. you
mistook my grinding teeth for
a parade march, or a dawning
light, or a passage of allegiance
to remain undermined.

I did make nice with you, eager enough
to mouth the words, rebelling only
once: scuffing my heels down along
your neck, I wanted to walk around
and around, and around.

I wanted to stop your breath, but
I didn’t. more so, I couldn’t.